De-stressing with Bente (#11)

Learning to relax again: how do you manage to do that? Bente (23) is a freelance journalist and works as an online editor at Flow. Having experienced a near-burn-out, she’s finding her way to a life with less stress. And every Friday, she takes us with her on her journey to get there.

Do I want to do an extra assignment? Of course. Fancy travelling for two hours to see an old acquaintance? No problem. Can I look after the neighbor’s dog? With pleasure. I am a champion at saying ‘yes’. The advantage of this is that I don’t have to worry about any confrontations, and people generally like me. But it also has a disadvantage. Had I said ‘no’ a little more often, I would not be sitting in the waiting room of my breathing therapist every Wednesday morning.

“You must learn to say no,” she suggests after I finish my relaxation exercise on the red exercise mat. We sit at her desk and discuss my progress. “You are a pleaser,” she continues. “Which is good, but only if in moderation. If you go too far down that path, you live for others and not for yourself.”