De-stressing with Bente (#9)

Learning to relax again: how do you manage to do that? Bente (23) is a freelance journalist and works as an online editor at Flow. Having experienced a near-burn-out, she’s finding her way to a life with less stress. And every Friday, she takes us with her on her journey to get there.

I am a big animal lover. I used to take the neighbor’s dog out for fun, at children’s parties I would always head straight for the rabbit hutch, and on Instagram I now follow more ‘catstagrams’ than profiles of people. Because my mother isn’t a fan of animals, I never got further than having a hamster named Pepsi while growing up. But that changed the other day, when kitten Cornelis took his first steps in my house. I couldn’t have been happier.

That first day’s feeling of joy continued to linger until about seven o’clock in the evening. “I still need to get used to it,” I tell Nick. When I see that he doesn’t have to get used to it at all, I start to doubt myself. Because why do I have to get used to having a cat at home? Owning one is nothing but nice, right?

The unrest in me remains the whole evening and is still there the following day. In fact, I am looking for ways to not be at home with the cat. That night I wake up with a huge panic attack. Shaking, nauseous, hyperventilating. A few hours later I have to take some medication for the first time since summer to calm down. I had not expected this. I feel like a cornered deer.