Any final thoughts?

As hard as it is, thinking about death and dying now and then is actually quite a good thing, journalist Caroline Buijs discovers. because realizing that life ends at a certain point can make it easier to be aware of how you want to live your life.

Why is thinking about death so difficult? Because after reading a pile of books from the library on the subject, it’s very clear that I’m not the only one. Everyone prefers to ignore death; it’s a recurring theme. According to Sogyal Rinpoche, author of The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, one of the main reasons we struggle with death is that we don’t want to accept that we are mortal: ‘We so desperately want everything to continue as it is that we have to believe that things will always stay the same’. In our eyes, change always means loss and suffering, the Tibetan teacher writes.

‘And when loss presents itself, we do everything we can to avoid feeling it. ‘Reflect on this: The realization of impermanence is paradoxically the only thing we can hold onto, perhaps our only lasting possession.’ I can identify with this; I’m definitely a ‘holder-on’. I get a stomachache when things change. I don’t want my children to ever grow up and grow apart from me, for example, and I also don’t want my parents ever to die.